The Speech Therapist
Greg Winters had always been a man of boundless ambition and questionable common sense. His latest obsession began when he saw a video online claiming that a border collie in Japan could speak three words. Not to be outdone by some foreign canine prodigy, Greg decided his five-year-old bulldog, Winston, would become the world’s first conversational dog. “Winston, my boy,” Greg announced one morning over breakfast, “we’re about to make history.” Winston, who had been peacefully snoring next to his empty food bowl, opened one eye and released a particularly fragrant burst of gas in response. “That’s the spirit!” Greg …